There are days, times, seasons when the world feels like it is crashing down.
Do you ever feel like that?
Like the weight is too much?
It is coming at you from all directions?
And you don’t know which way to turn?
I have been feeling that a lot lately. We do so much to stand tall day after day; to handle all the little things and to continue picking up the pieces, trying desperately to patch them back into as organized a shape as we can. If you don’t stop and notice what you are doing, it is fine, you can continue doing it for quite awhile. Most of us are proof that crazy amounts of resiliency do exist. But if you have one wavering moment where you pause, look around and question, “whose life is this?” and “how did it I get here?”, then watch out. You are probably about to fall off the cliff you’ve been teetering on into the abyss of self-pity, exhaustion, perhaps resentment, and apathy towards taking care of yourself.
In these moments, I disappear and shrink back from too much connection with others until I can get my mind right. And then, suddenly, (God is good) I snap out of it. Like the Mary Engelbreit images. When I was younger, I would look at Mary Engelbreit’s images, especially the popular “snap out of it” one and think, “that is cute”. It was something my aunt collected and liked to have around. But now, I get it. We need that reminder, to SNAP OUT OF IT.
My coach, Todd Durkin, has given us all an IMPACT band we can wear around our wrists, that when “stinkin’ thinkin'” creeps into our minds, we snap our bands as the reminder to “snap out of it”. For me, the pause in life, the acknowledgement that I need to slow down and recharge is usually all it takes. I have recently found float tanks as my way of recharging. In a float tank, you truly float on 10 inches of water and 1200 pounds of epsom salts in a sensory deprivation tank for an hour.
I found myself noticing recently my vibrational frequencies getting all over the place so I stopped and began writing. That is another form of my “snapping out of it”, my journal. When I write I can look back and see common threads and read words that suddenly shed light. My subconscious takes over and tells my conscious mind what is going on on the inside away from all of the clutter of life.
On Monday, August 8 of this year, I wrote to myself that I need to “move forward” and “be brave with my life”. I suddenly knew where I was going again and why. I determined that my time with Mother Nature in the last few months, doing some things I have never done, and doing other things I make a point to do, are what I need more of to keep me grounded. I recalled moments jumping in the waves at the beach, collecting sea glass, jumping off of docks at Lake Arrowhead and swimming to the buoy across the lake with a dear friend, and my determination to run up Torrey Pines Hill, just really quickly, to beat the the sunset. And then I thought back to a hike up Sanitas Trail in Boulder, CO, a place I need to go back to and explore more thoroughly, another hike in New Mexico with a cousin I needed to catch up with and share family memories with, and then simple time spent in our garden, finding treasure after treasure, filling bowl after bowl of nature’s best treats. God has a way of taking care of us. Of answering our questions. Of leaving clues.
All of these clues ARE my WHAT’S NEXT? The process of “being broken” always leads to a re-birth of something. The cracks are the openings where the light gets in. So all that feels broken or worn down or cracked yields way to light that shines through its opening in a new way to reveal the next step of the journey. My written reminder to myself to “move forward” and “be brave with my life”, along with the feelings of the world crashing down on me, and then the moments with Mother Nature and the pure bliss of being set free from human demands and subject only to natures requirements have set my course.
I love it when the solutions seem to drop from out of nowhere….there God is answering. (Thank you Albert Einstein for such wisdom!)
You are invited to join me on this journey called LIFE. Through all of its wonder, hope, bliss and laughter, unexpected delights and unplanned hardships. If we can allow ourselves to witness our journey and BE BRAVE WITH OUR LIVES we are in store for the time of our life! I do believe that the best is yet to come and “I am not yet my finished product.”